?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Look inside my mind [entries|friends|calendar]
David

[ website | Chaos Photography ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

THE NEW AND IMPROVED PLAN! [14 Apr 2006|09:15am]
[ mood | confused ]

OK well I realized how much it sucks to not have any family at all near me. I totally forgot about Easter being this weekend, when I did remember, all I could think about was all the years my mom colored Easter eggs with me. The years I was a metal head and all the eggs I painted had to do with heavy metal, a few years later I grew out of that and it was all about the punk/goth scene, yeah on Easter I painted eggs black, or with anarchy signs, vampires, demons, the words "Mother is the name of god, spoken from the lips of children" I even did a whole cemetery scene on one. She laughed and thought it was great, I miss her so much. I took too much for granted.
I am still working on getting transferred to LA, but its a pain in the ass. Talk to this person then... wait, then talk to this person... then wait. Im getting very frustrated.
I talked to my Aunt in Japan the other day. It blew me away, she offered me a place to live closer to family. Even offered to pay for me to move to Japan. I am seriously considering it, If this LA thing doesn't come through for me I may very well be better off moving to Japan and starting a new life there. I dont know though, I love Cali, and cant thing of anywhere else I would rather be, but the opportunity to move to Japan doesn't come very often. Especially with someone else offering to pay for the move, offering a place to live, and telling me if I help out with the family business I wouldnt have to really work. So now the hard part is deciding if I want to just take the offer, or to see if I can make it here by myself. I really dont know.

10 comments|post comment

Choosing my own way of life... Updated... [09 Apr 2006|02:05am]
[ mood | content ]

Well things are looking pretty good. Im really enjoying this single life thing. I finally dont have to worry about anyone but myself, Its nice to be able to go out to eat with friends again and not have to pay for 2 meals. I forgot how much fun it is to ask someone out... Ok the rejection sometimes sucks, but that uncomfortable awkward look on someones face just before it, makes me smile inside. Maybe Im just a sick fuck but to me its kinda fun. I think everyone should try it, not to get a date, just to make people feel uncomfortable in public. Its almost a good as having the waitress bring someone you dont know a drink, watch as the waitress brings the drink and points out who bought it for them, when they look over, just raise your glass and nod once. Most people dont know what to do, especially if you dont go and try ti hit on them, just leave it at you bought them a drink.
I've been talking to someone, A real doll. I dont know where its going but this girl is the bees knees. If anything I will have a new friend, really thats all Im looking for right now. I want to stay single for a while and enjoy life. My friend is getting married... I dont think he knows what to do. At first there was a tux fitting (Im supposed to be one of the groomsmen) now their eloping to vegas. The plans will probably change again in a week or so, but Im putting money aside in case there is a Vegas trip involved. Hell Im always up for a Vegas trip. Especially since its been a VERY long time since Ive gone without having a g/f. I hate to say it, but none of the g/f's I have gone with were any fun there. Im also working on the house little by little, hopefully by this summer I'll be able to invite friends over for a BBQ or something.

Mmmmmm... Bar-bee-que.

Update....
I forgot something, My Aunt and cousin want to visit from Japan. While I would really enjoy that, Im worried as hell about it. Im a single guy for christssake. Me and my roommate both work nights, if they came to stay here what the hell would they do? I cant have them stay here for a week trapped in the house with nothing to do. I really need to call Mariko... She was my moms friend and the only person I know who speaks japanese, cause trying to communicate with my aunts really bad english isnt working out to well...

11 comments|post comment

Im so excited [30 Mar 2006|09:20am]
[ mood | excited ]

  I found out about a few job openings at the company i'm currently working for. My choices so far are L.A., Burbank, and Ventura for sure and maybe Long beach. If I get any of these jobs, it definatly wont be long before I have enough to make the move out of here. Im really hoping for either L.A. or Burbank, I also looked around and found some nice "artist" lofts and apartments for a reasonable price out that way. Its time for a change, and a new beginning.

4 comments|post comment

RE: Apples [19 Mar 2006|01:28pm]
In regards to THIS POST... An Update is required... Sometimes When you get home with your perfect apple you realize the core of it is filled with worms, and any bird who has passed has had a taste of it.
14 comments|post comment

I.L.M [04 Dec 2005|06:05am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Its been a week since she passed.
She fought hard against all the odds.
The last thing I told her was "I love you".
The last time she saw me was next to her bed holding her hand.

I will always remember you.
I will always miss you.
I will always love you.
Raise hell in the afterlife mom.

1948-2005

8 comments|post comment

Damnit to hell! [12 Sep 2005|06:43pm]
Ok so I finally got the engine apart.... Well it seems that the rod bearing in the #2 piston went bad, taking out the rod, rod bearing, and crank shaft. Parts alone are going to cost around $800. That doesn't include the cost of labor... Neanderthal cycle salvage has a running motor for $1100 with low miles, and a small warranty. I gave up on the Ebay idea just because most of the engines are from out of state. If something goes wrong I'm out whatever I paid for it. So it looks like the bike will be down for another couple of weeks still. This is really hell.... The bike has been down since the beginning of May. I guess I'm just going to have to wait it out....
post comment

Come on Eileen... [02 Sep 2005|10:13am]
[ mood | determined ]

I just need my bike running and I will be complete. The only thing I crave right now is to be able to be back in the wind. Motorcycles are a huge part of my life, and I realize Im a happier person when I can just go for a ride. Even riding to work and back every day put me in a better mood. Soon my bike will be back together... I cant wait... no matter what it costs. The bike I have now has been with me through my best and worst times, I cant just give up on it now. I am planning on getting another one in the near future, but I just dont have the heart to get rid of "Eileen" (I-Lean youd probably get it if you have ever ridden a canyon with me).

2 comments|post comment

What a weekend [08 Aug 2005|05:30am]
This was the most interesting weekend I have had in a long time. Me and Trixie went out to the desert to watch our friend Fievel race and get some photos for him. Well we got to see the pocket bikes race, which is always interesting, Its like bobble head power rangers on motorcycles. Unfortunatly when they started racing the 50cc class it started to sprinkle, then it was a downpour by the time the racers got into turn 1. The race was red flagged, I shot like 4 pics of the racers going down in turn 1 then ran back to the trailer to help get everything out of the rain. I ended up holding down a canopy while getting pummeled by first the downpour then hail about the size of marbles. The rest of the races were cancelled for the day, the rain dried up pretty quick, so we decided to camp out and see what was going on with the racing for Sunday. Well the races were moved to next weekend due to the track being covered in dirt mud and water. Hopefully we will be back out there next weekend and I can get some good racing shots.
post comment

New Shoot [31 Jul 2005|10:15am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Well I finally did another shoot, The model was great the location pretty good, the results were pretty impressive for the crappy digital camera that I have. Well I hope everyone likes them, Im trying to get away from the "goth" look for a little bit just to show that I can do other things. Anyway the pics are on my site ChaosPhoto.Net Under "models" the new shoot is "Miss Ashley"

post comment

The past [25 Jul 2005|02:45pm]
Well so far in the past month or so, some interesting things have come about.
I found 2 long lost friends who really meant alot to me in the past. One is in Seattle, the Other is in Denver. Its nice to hear their doing really good.
Then I hear from someone else from my past. I dont know why after this person told me they didnt want to talk to me they contacted me. Good thing the past is the past.

Other then that I met a new friend and another one went to bootcamp.

Well its too hot for this shit, Im off to do a shoot, Ill post up when the pics are ready.
3 comments|post comment

Somebody Help Me! [05 Jul 2005|06:45am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

I seem to be suffering from creative constipation.

Heres the deal,
I have been doing a project I call "SoCal at night". The project is that I go out once a week and drive all over Southern California, and shoot low light photos of interesting sights. Well I went out last night and came back with NOTHING!

If anyone can think of anything interesting in So Cal, I would appreciate some help. Even if you dont know the exact address, Im pretty sure I can find it. I have a few more "landmarks" I am going to shoot, but Im looking for more stuff.

If you know a place thats a Famouse landmark, has interesting architecture, looks spooky, or you just think would look interesting at night, send me a heads up. If you want I will even give you location finder credit on ChaosPhoto.Net (opens in new window)



Thanks

David B.

post comment

Somethings horribly wrong [30 Jun 2005|11:48am]
[ mood | discontent ]

I just dont feel right anymore.
Seems like I have managed to lose everything that makes me really happy.
The future looks bleak, unsatisfying and cold.
I have been feeling alone even when around friends.
There has to be something that can change my mood.
Even when I accomplish something,
I still feel empty,
alone....
incomplete.

post comment

Things are never what they seem... [17 Jun 2005|08:26am]
When you dont know what to believe always trust your instincts.
Go with your feelings. Always follow your heart, no matter where it leads you.
I have dealt with never being too close to anyone. People are just that... People.
Look what the human race has done to the world, and eachother.
Why would you even consider trusting anyone that is a part of that..........

New photo project at ChaosPhoto.Net.
Go to the So Cal at night... It will be updated every week, and theres a little info on the background of this project also.


Share and enjoy...
post comment

Eelzsha boo boo, eelzsha boo boo doo doo [13 May 2005|09:03am]
Ok so I have a friend who will really help me with the engine rebuild for $600. Not like other friends who do a half assed job for a case of beer. Yeah its allot, and I still have to buy the parts, but He really knows what hes doing, and I get to learn with hands on experience how to do it for next time. Oh yeah and its about 1/3 of what a bike shop will charge me for labor alone and I get to put my choice of componentsin the motor. Which means I get to do what I want to it, A little more compression, a little more power and alot more durability. Booyah!
2 comments|post comment

Im going to kick you [08 May 2005|11:23am]
Ok well I just did a quick last minute shoot that is now up on my site HERE

But now my bike is dead. It needs the engine rebuilt so it looks like its going to be down for a while.

And the cosmic ballet continues
post comment

[26 Apr 2005|05:07am]
Ok for those of you who know, my bike was stolen a while back. Well heres some photo history on it and its progression.

1. Bike when I got it


2. Rocovered from theft.


3. Repaires after recovery.


4. Making it custom.


It still needs allot more work but at least it wont look like every other bike out there.
11 comments|post comment

The new plan [19 Apr 2005|01:10am]
Its a strange feeling when someone lies to me. Everything about them makes me sick, I cant look at their face without a feeling of loathing deep inside of me. Every time I see their mouth open I don't hear words, just see lumps of horse manure dropping out of it. Once someone betrays my trust I have no loyalty to them, no reason to be honest with them, and no sympathy for them. I used to trust allot of people, and quickly realized 90% of them were useless pieces of crap, now I only trust a few people and they are the only people who will ever be close to me as long as Honesty and trust are still in tact.
An eye for an eye.... Tooth for a tooth. No more turning the other cheek, they have been slapped too many times. There have been too many worthless people in my life for me to deal with. I don't need sacks of shit wrapped in a human bag hanging around me.
post comment

Life [16 Apr 2005|08:57am]
Yeah well that feeling is back. There is something going on, I can feel it. The last time I had this feeling I was dead on, as well as all the other times too. I dont know how people can think that no one will notice the little changes in the way they act. At least I know I will always say how I feel no matter if anyone wants to hear it or not. I think I just need to be alone for a while, to gather my thoughts, and figure out whats really important to me. I have soo many mixed emotions right now, it seems like Im always thinking about how my mom is doing, Im worried about her, She is a very strong woman. She raised me pretty much by her self in a foreign country. She could have easily packed up and moved us back to Japan, but she didn't take the easy way out. To see her now, needing peoples help and support is just really hard. on top of that, thinking about my relationship, is it really going to go the way I want it to or the way think it is? It just seems like everyone close to me has something they are not telling me. we'll see how all this plays out. Until then I think Im going to do some serious thinking and figure out whats really important to me.


A bobcat can eat all the chili it wants but it wont crap diamonds.
1 comment|post comment

Remember [05 Apr 2005|07:51am]

  1. Pinup cowgirl

  2. Switchblade bikini

  3. Dagger pinup

5 comments|post comment

Now this???? [22 Mar 2005|04:20pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Its raining...
Its pouring....
The whole worlds in mourning.

Looks like I wont be having any fun on the way to work. Wheelies dont work too well in the rain.

3 comments|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]